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5 Major Causes Of Anger And How To Deal With It

Angry Man

Anger is a normal, often healthy, human emotion that everybody experiences from time to time. It is actually part of the human experience.

It is healthy and normal to feel angry in response to certain situations. So, when your partner “pushes your buttons,” it is okay to feel hot under the collar.

But if you often experience uncontrollable anger that escalates, even if the provocation is minor, it means that anger isn’t a normal emotion but a major problem.

When your anger turns into rage, it may impair your thinking and judgment, making you more likely to say and do irrational and unreasonable things. When it gets out of control, it may become destructive, contributing to serious problems in your personal relationships and at work. It may undermine your quality of life.

Chronic, ongoing anger may tear down your reputation, social life, job, relationships, or even your health.

angry, anger

5 Major Causes of Anger:

1. Frustration and powerlessness

Frustration and powerlessness may be the root of your anger. As they build up with a situation or life in general, you may get angry. For example, you may feel frustration with a coworker that doesn’t pull their weight at work. It usually comes from feeling powerless to change a situation and it’s natural you would be angry over your own feelings of powerlessness.

2. Hurt

When someone else hurts you or causes you pain, it’s normal to get angry. For example, if you find out your partner is unfaithful or someone you love betrays you; your pain and hurt may turn to anger. As human, you may want to lash out at those who hurt you and stop your own pain and hurt from continuing.

3. Bullying and constant criticism

If you are a target of bullying, you may get angry. Working or living with a serial bully may drive you mad. What may contribute most to your anger is their constant denial of what they did or said and the fact you can’t have a healthy conversation with them. Or, if someone criticizes you or picks on you all the time, you may also get angry. Being a victim of constant criticism may result in anger.

4. Emotional exhaustion

Emotional exhaustion is a state of feeling emotionally drained and worn-out due to accumulated stress from your work or personal life. If you are emotionally exhausted, you may feel like you have no power or control over what happens in life. You may feel “trapped” or “stuck” in a situation. Due to your increased sensitivity, you may also feel extremely intense. You may get upset over trivial things and feel hopeless. The lack of power and the inability may make you feel even more irritated.

5. Fear

Fear may be an anger trigger. We aren’t talking about fear for your life, but rather social fears. Being afraid of failure, embarrassment or the unknown may manifest as anger.

angry, anger

4 Ways to Manage Your Anger:

While being angry is a natural part of being human, it is important to manage your chronic, ongoing anger. Here is how to do so:

1. Identify when you are angry

Being in touch with your feelings can make you a better person. Being true to your emotions can make you feel better about yourself. Being able to recognize your emotions and put them into words can help you use self-control when you feel angry, upset or mad.

But, if you choose to bury your feelings, you may act differently. Feelings that are dismissed or denied don’t disappear or diminish in size; they are actually intensified. You may react inappropriately as your emotions are pulling you in a different direction from where you really want or need to go.

So, you should identify your emotions by asking yourself something like, “What feelings am I having?” Being able to recognize when you are experiencing an emotion and identify what it is may help you figure out a healthy way to respond.

2. Check-in with yourself and see if you can identify the main cause of your anger

The most effective way to manage your anger is to find the source of it. So, next time you are feeling anger – whether strong or mild – check in with yourself and see if you can identify the main cause of your anger. If it is difficult for you to notice anything but the anger, just explore your thoughts, because they fuel all emotions.

It could be the frustration you felt from your commute from work or the argument you had with your partner. Whatever the source of your anger is, identify it and acknowledge it.

3. Take a deep breath and try to collect your thoughts before expressing your anger

When you are angry, it is easy to say something you will later regret. In order to avoid it, take a deep breath and try to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Once you are a bit calmer, express your anger in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your needs and concerns directly and clearly, without hurting or trying to control others.

4. Try to solve the problem

• If you are frustrated with a co-worker, go to them and speak with them directly. Express your anger through a reasonable, rational discussion.

• If somebody has hurt you, either confront them after taking some time to calm down or remove yourself from the situation.

• If you are a victim of constant criticism or bullying, there is a lot you can do. While different techniques work for different people, the first thing you need to do is try to work it out yourself. Stop doubting your own perceptions and reality. Do not allow them to take away your power. Talk to somebody else as it may be helpful.

• If you are emotionally exhausted, find ways to reduce your stress and prevent burnout. You can imagine a relaxing scene, practice deep-breathing exercises, or repeat a calming word or phrase, like “Take it easy.” You can also practice mindfulness meditation, do a few yoga poses, write in journal, or listen to music to encourage relaxation.

• If fear is causing your anger issues, find ways to overcome the fear. If you are not ready to face your fears, you will never overcome them. For instance, if your fear of public speaking is causing your anger issues, you should take some speech classes to overcome the fear.

Just find ways to focus on how you can fix the issues that are causing your anger, and your anger will fade as you take your power back.

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