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Why You’ve Been Ghosted and How to Get Over it

Ghosted, Ghosting

Let’s be honest now and admit that almost all of us have been ghosted at one time or another and we didn’t know how to deal with it. Unless you live in medieval times and have no access to the Internet you too have been a victim to or have ghosted someone and moved on with your life. But why is ghosting becoming so popular in today’s modern society? Have people lost all decency and have no respect towards other human beings? Ghosting is hurtful and disrespectful and we believe we all deserve better.

The answer to why is ghosting becoming so popular lies in the fact that we live in the digital era. The majority of communication nowadays is made via the social platforms and it’s becoming easier for someone to simply vanish if they don’t want to continue further communication. It’s not that ignoring someone or silently erasing them from your life is new, it’s been around for centuries but today it’s much easier to do it. It’s even becoming a sort of online phenomenon and everyone is wondering what got us here. I guess it’s the fact that nothing conveys the message better than “seen” when it comes to ghosting and don’t pretend that you don’t know what we’re talking about.

There are so many different ways you can end a relationship so why is ghosting the number one choice for so many people?

Online Dating

If you’ve found your partner online, like many of us have and you believed that everything is going well. It may not be the traditional way of meeting someone, but online dating is rather popular. Many people find their soulmates via social media, so why couldn’t we? There were no signs that things weren’t going well and all of the sudden the relationship has ended. Why?

Well, it’s one of the simplest ways to end things without having to go through the awkward ‘we need to talk’ conversation. The fact is that people have gotten so used to dealing with things without ‘having to deal with them’ which makes ghosting the perfect solution to them. Calling it quits without having to provide any explanation is the simplest, effortless thing you can do and that’s why so many people resort to it. The social media has made it so easy for us to send the message we want to send loud and clear without even having to say a word. I guess it’s not a surprise we all use it for some purpose. The majority of us have been ghosted or have ghosted someone so we all kind of understand the concept.

Ghosted, Ghosting

How to tell if someone has the potential to become a ghost?

The most likely candidates here are people who have difficulties attaching emotionally or don’t even want to consider the idea. But in general there are some personality traits that are common in people who ghost others, such as:
  • People who are mysterious about themselves and don’t like to share too much information about themselves.
  • Passive personalities who avoid all kinds of intense, intimate discussions and avoid conflicts at all cost.
  • People who tend to disappear from time to time with the excuse they’re busy and show no sign of life for hours or even days.
  • Self-centered people who show no regard for other people’s feelings.
  • People who are used to dropping everything and quitting something just because it doesn’t suit them anymore.

How to deal with it?

Whether you’ve been ghosted or you have ghosted someone, you all have to agree that the practice is emotionally cruel. Many people start thinking that it’s something they did or didn’t do and start questioning their actions. They may even develop self-esteem issues and sensitive people may refrain from emotional connection for a while. But the truth is that ghosting has nothing to do with the person who’s been ghosted but more to do with the ghost himself. It speaks volumes about his personality and there’s nothing you could have done to prevented it.

If you’ve been ghosted here are a few advices that should help you move on with your life and forget all about this unpleasant experience:
  • You have to let go of it because overthinking it will not do you any good. After all, you don’t even need a person who isn’t willing to commit to you and invest in your relationship as much as you were going to.
  • Don’t stalk your ghost online, it really won’t do you any good. It can only make you feel angrier and fill you with resentment, which will make it harder for you to move on.
  • Don’t try to contact your ghost with the intention to clear things up and get a closure. If they wanted to give you closure they wouldn’t have ghosted you in the first place and that’s exactly the kind of conversation they were trying to avoid with their disappearance. Spare yourself from more cruelty and just let it go.
And lastly, having in mind the emotional damage ghosting can do, try not to be a ghost yourself. 

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