The Healthy Archive

Natural Health - Fitness - Remedies

9 Reasons Why You Should No Longer Care About People’s Approval


A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep. ~ Vernon Howard

Do you often seek approval?

Yes of course you do. We all seek approval from others, especially from those whose judgment about us matters the most. In fact, seeking approval can help us gain a different perspective on our own actions. You feel the need to assess and analyze the reason when your actions are constantly being disapproved by the people in your surroundings.

People’s Approval

Social acceptance is a significant aspect of our existence. We are constantly working to be accepted and encouraged by our community.

So when does this approval-seeking behavior become a ‘demand’ instead of a ‘want’? I might ‘want’ to be ‘loved by others’ but I cannot ‘demand to be loved by others’. ‘Want’ and ‘demand’ are two distinct concepts. The first one is natural and healthy while the later is self-limiting and toxic because you cannot force someone to love you.

Many of our challenges start when it comes to approval-seeking behavior. You seem to lose touch with your real self when you pay heed on what others think of you.

Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. ~ Lao Tzu

You need to learn to let go of approval-seeking behavior in order to live life on your own terms.


9 reasons why you should no longer care about what others think of you will remind you of its negative qualities:


1. You simply can’t be liked by everybody

If you are familiar with the term ‘Not everyone’s cup of tea’ you know half of the story. Everyone is unique in their own ways. No two individuals are exactly similar; to expect this is to be an utter fool.

Everyone perceives the world from their mental frame of reference. Hence, it is bound to be contradictory to that of others. You cannot impress everyone. Some people will never approve or accept you as you naturally are and you have to accept this crude fact at its face value.

Do you have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life. ~ Winston Churchill


2. You can live a happy life without “their” approval

While growing up we were told that in order to be liked by others we must try to please others by being polite and nice. Later in life, you will keep on encountering people who seem to never like you, in spite of you being good to them. And it’s not their fault.

You don’t have to depend on a few compliments from people. If you value yourself, love yourself.

Everyone has their share of likes and dislikes. If people fail to appreciate your unique potentials and qualities, then you have absolutely nothing to do about that.

Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy. ~ Wayne Dyer


3. You can’t control what other people think of you
Your image, your thoughts, your ideas, and your actions are independent of what others think, feel or understand about you.

What I might like, others might not like that and what others like I might not like. It is as simple as that. In fact, you have to consider yourself where you have choices different from others.

We all have a different perception of how life should be lived and how people should act. Instead of wasting your time pondering over what others think and say of you, why not focus on improving oneself, knowing that:

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.” ~ Einstein


4. Approval seeking behavior is time-consuming

Approval seeking behavior not only demonstrate your lack of self-confidence and inability to embrace your flaws but also is extremely time-consuming.

If you keep on overthinking a thousand times about whether your actions will be approved before you ultimately commit to it, you will lose limitless opportunities and not mention, some valuable time.


5. Approval seeking behavior drains your energy

Every time you think about why a particular person has behaved badly with you or have rejected you, you spend a lot of your useful time thinking something that you cannot control.

Everyone has their distinct opinions about a situation. Seeking approval entails too much mental energy, which is not worthy.


6. Freedom to be who you want to be

When you do not conform to societal ideals and opinions just to seek other people’s approval, you actually discover what you always wanted to follow, from the core of your heart.

Approval seeking often deafens and blinds us of our inner screams, things that we always wanted to do irrespective of what others thought of it.

Letting go of the control you want to have over what other people think of you will help you attain the ultimate freedom. Just give it a chance.


7. Inner peace

We all seek peace and we all want to be happy and the moment you stop caring about what “they” think, you will find just that.

When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others. ~ Peace Pilgrim


8. You are the one in control of your life, not them

Your life will be in your control when you no longer pay attention to other people’s thoughts and opinions about you. You will be able to maneuver your mental energy on constructive facets.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. ~ Arthur Gordon

You are already, whole and complete and you don’t need other people’s approval in order to feel this way.


9. The only person you must get approval from is YOU

If you start loving yourself, you will no longer need to worry about what others think of you, for you will understand:

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.~ Carl Jung

You get to a point where you know, them talking about you has little or nothing to do with how you think, act, live, etc., but a lot to do with how they think, and who they perceive reality.

A lot of times, what we can’t accept in others are the things we haven’t accepted in ourselves, whether we are consciously aware of this truth or not.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge. ~ Wayne Dyer

No comments:

Post a Comment